Stage-Based Background:
Many psychological developments progress through a sequence of experiences. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross described the five stages of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Others have added stages such as renewal and hope. Understanding the process has helped many of us deal with grief and grieving. C.S. Lewis, in his book A Grief Observed, gave us the gift of a description of grief through the experience and expression of a gifted writer. Sometimes, we can learn vicariously through the experiences of others. That learning can be a comfort and a source of sanity in the midst of chaotic times.
Unlike stage theories, many personality theories (DISC, Myers-Briggs/Kiersey, LIFO) propose that our working personality has a number of dimensions. The number four seems to be common, though there are other configurations. The Johari Window, while not exactly a personality theory, is a way of visualizing the interaction of various aspects of our identity. I have found the Johari window a helpful way of explaining the value of learning, reflection, disclosure, and feedback.
Johari Background:
Here’s a basic look at the Johari Window. (The window is named for its creators, Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham).
The two dimensions of knowledge intersect to form four quadrants. Quadrant one is variously called the Public, Arena, or Open quadrant. The public arena contains everything about our self that is known to us and known or at least accessible to others. This might include our gender, height, name, and anything else we choose to reveal. Quadrant two is the blind spot containing things about ourselves that are known to others, but unknown to us. I often use bad breath and the way our colleagues regard us as examples from quadrant two. Quadrant three is the unknown, mystery, and it contains things about you that are both true and unknown. The presence of early stage cancer or the capacity for athletic accomplishment are both legitimate examples of information from the unknown quadrant. Often, the revelation and reassignment of unknown information is challenging and traumatic. The final quadrant is the hidden, avoided, or façade dimension. This contains everything we know about ourselves but have not disclosed.
In addition to the major principles of the Johari window that are explained elsewhere, I observe four important dynamics.
1. The choice to disclose personal information increases the public quadrant at the expense of the hidden quadrant.
2. Feedback from others increases the public quadrant at the expense of the blind quadrant.
3. Our window looks different in different settings. The shape of our window with a spouse would has a smaller hidden domain than with our children. That with our family should be shaped differently from our professional or public profile.
4. In the age of Facebook, and other broadcasting social media, impulsive self-disclosure is riskier than ever before.
Application:
Both stage-based wisdom and personality theories are helpful ways to understand the experience of Asperger’s Syndrome. Most of us start in ignorance and end up somewhere along the path toward acceptance. Some veer into self-hatred, while others become so pro-Asperger’s they end up becoming hostile to those in the neuro-typical population.
This series is a way to think about the progress of discovering Asperger’s. I am sure that my insights generalize and oversimplify from my experience as a person with AS, a father of an Aspie, and a principal to many more. So I’ll cede the technical and scholarly ground and speak more simply about how I’ve seen many people experience this process. If you find yourself anywhere in the descriptions, I’d like to hear from you so I can correct and refine the model.
In the next few posts, I will develop a model of Asperger's Awareness that may be helpful to Aspies, their parents, and those who serve them in schools and other settings. Thanks for adding your insights as we go. I suggest that this model is a gentle way to help bring Aspies and those who love them into greater understanding. I trust it will be useful to some of you.
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