I wouldn't trade you for your twin...a free-form letter from this Asperger's Dad to my Asperger's son

David,

I wouldn’t trade you for your twin.

 

The day you were born, your average twin disappeared

I spent nine months and more planning for your twin

He was the child with a bright mind and ordinary senses

Certainly he would be above average, but not too far

He was predictable and normal in every way

•Reading at a normal pace, 

(not instantly like you)

•He would drift from enthusiasm to interest

(without your intense commitment)

•He would see some possibilities and creativities

(but not all of them)

 

When I planned for your twin, I failed to plan for you.

 

I didn’t expect your amazing powers of perception.

Your ability to find mistakes in every textbook

Your ability to hear a ticking clock from across the room

Your ability to detect minute differences in fabrics

Your care and compassion for people who don’t expect it

 

I didn’t know a person could be so creative, finding music in materials, a rainbow in paint swatches…

 

Your insight and intelligence were a complete surprise.  You think on such a different level

 

I planned for a child with normal senses—with dull hearing and a soft touch.  

I didn’t know to hope for someone with super-sensitivity and super intelligence.

 

It took me years to figure out that we had David, not your twin.  

But knowing that, I wouldn’t trade you in.

 

Dad