How Old are You in Asperger’s Years?

I have noticed that the dominant paradigm of personality development expects us to “mature” or “grow up” on a fairly specific schedule. The English language is filled with idioms and protocols like “Act your age.” or “You’re old enough to know better.” Given the strong and constant pressure to conform to age-cohort expectations, why do those of us with Asperger’s sometimes seem an odd mix of precocious knowledge and social immaturity?

The answer is relatively simple. We don’t care (at least as much as NT’s) about conforming to social expectations. If forced, we might be able to express those norms, but that doesn’t mean we’ll follow them.

My son loves Pokémon and Neopets, long after his peers have moved on. It doesn’t bother him that his friends have other interests and consider some of his passions childish. He is secure in the solitude of himself.

I remember being interested in news and politics long before my classmates cared or even knew anything about the political process. It’s no wonder I ended up as a political science major and spent a semester in Washington D.C. Maybe if I’d been more NT, I would have supressed my passion for things political and derailed one of my lifelong interests.

So while Aspie’s may develop on a different pace than the dominant culture expects, perhaps we should commend ourselves for being more loyal to ourselves than to artificially imposed social expectations.