Emotional Frailty #2 Protective Practices

Here are three things that classroom  teachers can do to protect my emotional frailty:

1. Provide a quick exit.  If I feel trapped in a situation where my emotional state is spiraling downward, I must have a safe and guaranteed exit.  Give me a code word, a permanent pass, or a “get out of class free” card.  No matter how important the academic or social lesson may be, there is absolutely no way I will learn or retain anything if I am frantic to preserve my composure.  Robert Sylwester points out that emotional safety must precede learning. (Sylwester 1995)  Psychologists know it too.  If I fear my social/emotional safety, learning is already forfeit.  Please don’t sacrifice my emotional identity for a lost cause.  Let me retreat and learn another day.

2. Designate a safe haven.  Depending on the school environment, I might need a quiet corner of the classroom, a special chair, or removal to a resource room, counseling center or library chair.  Pre-determine the acceptable locations, in a cascade order and teach me the order.  “Go to the resource room first.  If it is empty, go to the library.   If Mrs. Grey is not there, wait in the front office.”  Assure me that I will not be penalized or punished for going to my safe haven.  Protect me from ridicule or stigma by explaining to my classmates that I am permitted and encouraged to manage my learning needs by relocating when necessary.

3. Protect me from emotional injury.  In the emotional herd called school, I am the weak and crippled.  Other students can sense and see my vulnerability, and at their worst, they act like emotional predators–attacking my weakness.  They mock me subtly, to avoid detection, but I’m too literal to get it–so they escalate the insults and sarcasm until I break down or you break in.  In most cases, you discern the pattern before I do.  If you tolerate the bullying, or worse yet, participate in it yourself, you make it clear that I am fair game.  Please do the opposite.  I’m the endangered species in your class, deserving and needing your protection.  I’m not confident or sophisticated enough to guard myself.  I’m counting on you.